Self-Hypnosis

I've been hypnotized. I've been living in a self-imposed trance. 

I was an ugly duckling growing up. My ears were too big, my body was too small and even when puberty hit, I never shook off my insecurities as an ugly duckling. I've been living as an ugly duckling.

I had convinced myself that everything that needed to be said on my blog, was said. I felt as though my thoughts didn't matter. I had hypnotized myself into believing that all things must come to an end. But life is not like that. Our journey to wellness will forever be a lifelong assignment. Constantly evolving, bettering itself, conflicting itself. Even when our bodies die and wither, our offspring will continue to live on and evolve.  Our lives matter. Whether you believe we are here to glorify God, or whether you believe we were placed here to express ourselves to the fullest, they are one in the same.  What better way than to glorify God than by becoming the best God has equipped you to be?

Have you been living in a less than ideal trance?

I recently read Psycho Cybernetics and it was the perfect refresher I needed to start feeling good again. You can read it for free on Scribd by clicking here.

Hello friends. It's good to be back. :)

Transcendental Meditation (TM)

I don't even remember how I first heard about Transcendental Meditation. All I know is that I had been wanting to learn to meditate for the longest time and the church's definition of 'meditating on the word of God' wasn't doing it for me.  I wanted to clear the mind. I researched my neighborhood libraries catalogue for anything tagged as 'transcendental meditation' or 'TM'. I came across a book by David Lynch - writer/director and actor among other roles- Catching the Big Fish.  In the book, Mr. Lynch shares how his practice of Transcendental Meditation has aided him in his creative process in writing, directing and painting. I really enjoy reading about artists and the process by which artists (anyone skilled in their trade) go about gaining and using their ideas. Although the book itself did not teach me how to practice Transcendental Meditation, it did urge me to continue my research on the subject.



I found a website which pointed me to TM teacher's within my area only to find out that it came with a price tag exceeding $1000. My DIY mentality leaks into all areas of my life and I quickly uncovered a wealth of information to learn to do-it-myself.  Transcendental Meditation is said to help reduce stress, reduce depression, increase creativity, increase energy, increase inner calm, and increase happiness and self-esteem. You can read more on the subject here.  Or on wikipedia here. It should be noted that negative perceptions on the movement have been aimed at the high cost of the practice.  However, both you and I are exempt from this burden and free to reap its benefits if we pursue it with open hearts and open minds. Afterall, Jesus himself meditated.

1. Pick a mantra. Found here.  {Mantra's are chosen by age. Existing arguments have been made over a mantra being "carefully chosen" by a trained teacher and not shared with anyone else, however, the mantras were allegedly all the same and based on the meditator's age. For example, given my age, my mantra is "shirim"}

2. Find a comfortable spot to sit down uninterrupted. Bodily position is not of importance.

3. Silently repeat your mantra over and over again for 15-20 minutes. Once in the morning and another in the evening. Pause for a moment before you begin and settle into it and pause at the end as well.

It is said you will receive heightened creative awareness and calmness once you have completed your meditation. If you gain nothing else, refer back to this calming episode whenever life gets a little too chaotic. Repeat your mantra to yourself when you are about to tackle a stressful project. Translations for your mantra can be found here and here. 

Remember to approach each day with gratitude. It is a good time to be alive.

Global Vintage + Romans 14

Excuse me for being a bit on the busy and distracted side. I took an early vacation beginning Thursday. Did a lot of praying, then we traveled to Florida for one day to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with my distant loved ones. It was the most blessed vacation we have ever taken. I hope your holiday was equally enjoyable, if not, God can provide. I know because I asked.

We were hesitant to take this mini vacation. We haven't had many opportunities to gather with family, and the times we have, it has not been pleasant. This time we didn't ponder on it too much. We did pray about the situation everyday (five days leading to the big day) at mealtime, at bedtime, and right before we arrived. We attended church the last Sunday before our holiday and asked for some additional support. We were lead to Romans 14. To summarize, Romans 14 is about a call to do what leads to peace. "Who are you to judge...he who God died for?" It was a reminder that God died not just for us, but for the sister you quarrel with, for the neighbor who jolts your nerves, etc.

But since I have been lacking in design and DIY and anything pretty (or any posts for that matter), I decided I would also share this design personality quiz (found over at Young House Love) from the Nate Berkus site. I am Global Vintage. Pleasure to meet you.  I always assumed I was Rustic Modern. It turns out the rustic is me, the modern is he -  the hubby. With this in mind, I will attempt to splatter my home with a blend of global, old world charm my husband does not approve of because I am no longer Rustic Modern. I am Global Vintage ...and I go in peace. ;)

Image: Ikat curtains from World Market... because I just learned I'm a worldly decorating kind of girl. Hear my roar.

One Year Anniversary Notas {notes}

As the holiday season approaches, I simply can't get away from the idea of posting about children's illustration.  My intentions are pretty high on delivering some valuable gifts to the little ones in my life but in the end I can't muster the courage to send just any old store bought product and call it a holiday. Last year I was considering writing and illustrating a special little book for every little person in my life. Not enough time. And then I thought about recording myself or one of the children reading one of the books along with the book saved to an mp3.  Not enough funds. The most doable solution is to dedicate one favorite storybook with individualized bookplate for each little one. So much more affordable to send off 5 little books versus 5 bulky toys! 
On another note, it has been one full year that I have been blogging and no one is more amazed than I with my one year committment, thus far. Thank you for following along on the ride..distant friends. When I first started this blog I was hoping to try to reach both the English speaking community as well as the Spanish speaking community about my life post-depression. I think it's time I start. A spanish version will follow in italics to the best of my ability. :)
Image above by Isabelle Arsenault. You may visit her illustrations here.

Bienvenidos! Cuando recien empeze este blog, fue mi intencion communicarme con una audiencia de lengua ingles y espanol sobre mis experiencias despues de haber vivido con depresion una gran parte de mi vida. En fin, al celebrar mi un ano aniversario con este blog intento traducir con toda mi abilidad al espanol (aunque sin acento por el momento!)
Por los ultimos par de semanas he tenido una infatuacion con la ilustracion,especialmente con los ilustradores para libros de ninos.  Desde el ano pasado fue mi intencion mandarle a los pequenos en mi vida un regalo sentimental pero no se me hizo igual comprar qualquier regalo, envolverlo y llamarlo festividades navidenas!  Para mi, no hay mejor regalo que un libro. Igual, no hay otra forma mas barrata como mandar uno libro especialmente dedicado a esa pequena persona. Otras posibilidades, que aun no me funcionarion a mi pero tal vez ha usted le funcione: 1. grabarse leyendo un libro favorito grabado en un mp3 junto con el libro, o, 2. Escribir y ilustrar  un libro para esa pequena persona especial. Funcionaria bien para alguien con limitados cachorros en su vida.
Foto arriba de la ilustradora Isabelle Arsenault. Puede visitar sus proyectos aqui.

Donut Seeds

It must have been a few years ago when I first discovered the site Booooooom (7 o's) and I visit ever so often when I'm in need of some artistic inspiration, to be slightly grossed out or in need of a chuckle. In today's case: a chuckle. The above photograph (by Jason Fulford) did the trick, so much so that the image hasn't escaped my memory for about 60 days now. I've been having some 'technical difficulties' with my camera and I haven't been able to post a DIY for a miniature Halloween house I've had stored in my brain for over a week. My home has also undergone a massive overhaul and I'm ever so tempted to post on it instead of being all 'bark and no bite'  but this camera dilemma has me in a bit of a rut. I'm in need of some self TLC and will return on Monday (unless my camera, and mood, miraculously heal themselves).  Have a blessed weekend.

Sachiko Umoto { illustration book }

I know illustration isn't that complicated, but after living in the 'real world' and working, cooking, loving, creating, existing and passing out exhausted after a long days work, we need to replenish at the end of the day and think: is what I'm doing making me happy? Is what I'm doing leaving this place a little better than how I found it?

And you might be thinking: how can illustration lead you to think such deep, deep thoughts Jennifer?
Well, at the end of the day , illustration and art and children is my happy place. But if I could somehow find a way to blend my love for art and my love for family into something that would yield my little family and I a living, that would be ideal.

So even though I have some informal training in drawing, I could really use some further training to *think* like a kid again. And if that means following instructions on creating itty bitty little creatures created by others, than I'm in.



I've been obsessing over cutesy doodle books since last Christmas. I was thinking it would make a wonderful gift for little ones, but you know what?  It took me a whole year to figure out I was obsessed with the little booklets for me!



I just bought Let's Draw Cute Animals on Amazon and I can't wait to get my copy in the mail...I wonder if I'll share with my little ones. Wait, of course I'll share with my little ones....m a y b e.

Author + Illustrator: Leo Lionni

F or the past three months my home has been undergoing a bit of a renovation as we gutted out a massive entertainment center and built a high library, so lately I've been super interested in filling those shelves with much love and inspiration, especially for my little ones.






I've forever been enticed with learning about the people I admire. I make it a habit of reading up on their biographies, even if only through wikipedia and various other online resources. It was equally nice to find out that one of my favorite illustrators, Eric Carle, was also a fan of Lionni.  Another interesting fact I uncovered while reading up on Lionni was that he did not pursue "his own creative spirit" until he was 50! It's good to know it's not too late to pursue our own "creative spirits".

Who do you admire? Have you read up on them lately?

Resources: Life Reimagined Project + IKEA's Life Improvement Project

While perusing the world wide web, I came across two nifty little resources. While over at the Crafty Gemini site looking for a DIY throw pillow envelope cover, an idea I'd seen recently on Sabrina Soto's new show The High Low Project, she gave a brief mention of a project called the Life Reimagined Project.

The Life Reimagined Project is a free site offering an opportunity to discover your calling utilizing a set of calling cards. With as little as fifteen minutes, you  narrow down your search to things that are most important to you in terms of career. It's an excellent little starter to kick-start learning a little more about yourself, or at the very least, reinforcing a truth you've already acknowledged but haven't pursued or knowing that you're on the right track.

Additionally, if you've ever dreamed of opening a non-profit or had a wonderful non-profit idea but no funds to begin with, IKEA is hosting  The Life Improvement Project. Have you ever wanted to save the dolphins? Teach orphan children about self-esteem or farming? Make backpacks for children in third world countries?

If you have an amazing idea, shoot on over to the site by clicking here or read their sweet little manuals for 'assembling a better life' by clicking here. If you came here looking for some design ideas, click on the manuals over at IKEA, frame them up, or clip 'em and hang 'em. Too dull? Add some color to them by splashing them with watercolors.



Enjoy your Wednesday!

Book: Don't Feed the Monster on Tuesdays!

When I first noticed one of my little boys exuding melancholic tendencies either due to moving a thousand miles away from 'home', losing a beloved pet and/or repeating a grade, I knew I had to find every means possible to nip it in the bud.  When I was pregnant and undergoing some major life changes and depression, my mother-in-law gave me some sage advice, "depression is a choice."  It really struck a chord because, despite not finding reasoning behind the comment then, it makes perfect sense now.  Depression was a choice. I was choosing to feed my melancholic thoughts. True, motherhood poses some changes that would loosen up screws in just about everyone: sleep deprivation, time-managment overload, MAJOR responsibility but, ultimately, it was up to me to choose happiness or choose depression.

Don't Feed The Monster on Tuesdays! explains in a very simple format the way self-esteem can be eaten away at, and conversely, how you can feed your self-esteem...by NOT feeding the monster. It's a wonderful little read for both child and adult.  So many times when we want to understand something we reach for the largest most in-depth book when all we really need is the very basics to form the foundation for our wellness pyramid.

I've created a simple little print as depicted in the book, available here, to remind yourself, child or loved one to NOT FEED THE MONSTER ON TUESDAYS...

Teaching LOA to Kids

When I was a teenager and struggling with depression, I attempted to 'cure' myself by reading a ton of self-help books. This was back in 1996 so the book The Secret and The Law of Attraction hadn't become mainstream material just yet.  However, I can attest to the power that positive thinking had. In fact, I overcame my depression even before I ever read The Secret.

After I read it, I realized that the foundation of the program I used to overcome my depression was based on positive dialogue and is also the premise to the law of attraction.  The nice thing about LOA (Law of Attraction) is that every person benefits from thinking positive. Realistic and positive.  When your mind is not jumbled with what's wrong you can focus on making things right.

But I didn't want to keep this 'secret' to myself. I wanted to introduce my children to the concept as well.  I researched ways to teach children (or unaware adults) and I came across a site that used the light switch as an example. I came up with this:

Feelings are energy.

You either transmit positive energy or negative energy.

The effort is the same.

You can turn "on" positive feelings (light the way), or you can turn them off (and be in darkness).

I came home just the other day and introduced the concept to both my boys. The older one got it, the younger one got the gist of it but I'll review it with him time and time again until he's ready.

For my older child, I took it one step further. I created a simple worksheet. See below:

Esp. since my oldest son is dyslexic, I needed the worksheet to be very basic, in pictures. 

Sad face or "-"  =   a negative thought he had in the day

Happy face or "+" = turn the negative thought into a positive statement.

Personal example:

 -  Negative statement he said, "I'm so stupid. Everyday I tell myself I'm stupid."

 +  Positive (turn it around) statement:  "I'm not stupid, I'm dyslexic. All this means is that I learn differently."

At the bottom of the page the child can circle their overall feelings for the day. 

If you notice a child tends to circle sad, then he might be experiencing some depression.

If the child circles the angry face, then this child might require being taught meditation. I came across this article for an idea on exercising meditation with children (or yourself).

If the child circles the bored face (the one yawning in the center) then he might need  more stimulation in his day, more sunshine, more physical activity.

If working with a child, relate to the child by filling in your own thoughts for the day and turning them around. If there are no children, consider trying this on yourself for a week and see what you come up with.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Spooky business

I have infected my little guys.

They live, breathe and ooze a love for art and decor. Yesterday I was greeted by a collection of Halloween decorations consisting of five little mice cut-outs, twelve drawn- colored- decorated and cut pumpkins, three witches, seven live pumpkins scattered on the front porch and one googly-eye concoction.

I always wished they'd have an adoration for the arts like I did. I think I got that one fulfilled.

I also always wished they'd never grow up. I think I over-wished there too - they're a little under the scale on their growth chart.

I tell you, the power of the law of attraction. It's crazy. It's scary. It's Twilight Zone-ish.

Ever get one of those crazy feelings when you really really want something and then you see it manifested? 

Anyhow, I'm still kind of on top of my goal-game of getting on top of things before I need to get on top of them. Top that. Unless you count my slipping both yesterday and this morning by not prepping lunches or clothing for the children the night before.

The result?  Late, late, rushed and minus one homework assignment.

At least I've got my Halloween business in order. I'm thinking mice: mouse hotel pumpkin as seen here at Martha's, mice silhouettes scattered on the doorstep and stairs as seen here (again at my buddy Martha's), and looking to incorporate this, this and this.  And if I didn't think the neighbors (or HOA) would get spooked by the witch's cauldron seen here, how cool would that be? Very.

I'm thinking abandoned and critter-infested haven. What do you think?

I also think I should pay more attention to getting on top of things, non-decor related.

Have a crazy fun weekend.

The Outdoors...

This morning I got to work and the network was down.

Since all our files and records are on a network, I was very limited to what I could get done.

So I did what I do best: journal.

The above is what I came up with, the doodle is just a mini rendering of my home. It's not very garden like but an entrance is liken to a person's smile. It's the first thing that greets me after a long time away from my loved ones. And it's the first thing my little critters see after a super long day at "the office", a.k.a. school.

Life out here in Texas is very different than CA. So, I don't mind that people stare at me awkwardly when I stroll around town at lunch. Every once in a while I get offered a car ride, assuming I've broken down somewhere.

You just don't really see people walking around here, except...for people who have broken down cars.

That was until now... when a weird CA girl came to town, and refused to accept the norms of the town in which she lives. That is, unless it's too cold out. My CA bones can't handle it just yet.

Customizing "The Greatest Salesman..."

I first came across Og Mandino's, The Greatest Salesman in the World while browsing the shelves at my nearest library.

The fact that the book was such a simple read made it all the more alluring to check out, browse through, return and check out again and again.

If you've never read it, it is an absolute must read. It's so simple yet majestic and necessary. It is written in fictional fashion with the life principles portrayed as scrolls, 10 scrolls total.

At different episodes in my life, there seems to be one scroll most applicable to me, but one seems to stand out above them all: Scroll VI - Today I will be master of my emotions.

If I feel depressed I will sing.

If I feel sad I will laugh.

If I feel ill I will double my labor.

If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.

If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.

If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.

If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.

If I feel incompetent I will remember past successes.

If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be master of my emotions.

In thinking about the book today, I thought about ways to customize this according to my needs and results and possibly influence you in customizing it for yourself.

If I feel depressed I will go for a jog.
If I feel lazy I will go for a jog.
If I feel upset I will go for a jog.

Obviously there is a recurring theme here.  I was originally thinking If I feel lazy I will clean my home.

But usually cleaning my home is in sync with feeling depressed and upset...

When everything fails...go for a jog. Maybe I should change my post title. maybe I should just go for a jog.

Festive Monday to you.

Oh hello..

Life's either a party or not....and you're either the driver or you're not.

What's it gonna be?

Soon to be Re:Loved

I write before you, as usual, unprepared. I have forgotten to take the after photos but perhaps this will provide you with an excellent opportunity to soak in the photo and ponder: good heavens, what good can possibly come out of so much ugly?

And life is really like that.

There is such a thing as second chances which is why I am such a fanatic of the the DIY/ recycling/ refurbishing/ revamping culture.

If life has given this poor little bike a second chance, what can it conceive of you an I?

Lots.

'See' you tomorrow.

In other news: I'm presently reading this essay on auras. Did you know you can see auras?!

Three Days, Three Wishes...

In three days I will be celebrating a birthday. In three days I will be 29. In three days I will be reminded of how I still haven't done certain things I've wanted to do, and I haven't been who I've wanted to be.

Sometimes even those who desire to instill hope need some hope instilled in them.

A very limited version of my "bucket list":

1. Learn to surf


Even though I lived in California my whole life, I've never surfed. I lived about 20 miles from the coast and in my one hour of rest between school and work I would squeeze in some beach time. My commute totaled about 40 minutes as I drove the streets all the way to the coast, but it was totally worth it for 20 whole unniterrupted minutes at the beach.

Surfing embodies just about everything to me. Tranquility, activity, nature. My kids are serene and entertained at the beach. Life is good at the beach...and now I live 1.5 hours away from the beach and it isn't nearly as lovely as my home beach.  I wish I could return to life by the beach.

Anyhow, I could dream for ever on the topic. This upcoming month we'll be traveling to CA and the family and I will be taking our first lessons. I am so ever thrilled.

2. Be part of a choreography group...and learn to dance like one.



I grew up very sheltered and though I never desired the party scene for the purpose of drinking, I deathly desired to dance. Growing up latin, rhythmic beats were a huge part of my upbringing and I took a quick liking to salsa music.  In my bedroom, in the wee hours of the night, complete with headphones, I would dance the night away.

One night I accidentally unhooked myself while attempting some crazy move and obviously, woke the parents in a fright. The life of a hip hop dancer appealed to me because, again, it embodied a physically active lifestyle and I truly admire that.  How much funner it would be to dance my day away rather than dream of it behind a desk.

3. Take an acting class



When I was 12 and 13, my dad took me to one of those castings advertised on the radio.  I left feeling a little defeated because my parents weren't willing to invest into the headshots. It's kind of tough to shake these kinds of things off when the people express interest in you and your parents tell them no.

I'm sure they tell everybody that they like them but somehow being told felt really nice and I never did quite shake off the idea or interest in pursuing acting.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

What's on your bucket list?                                                                                                   

 

Quote...

This past weekend I attended a marriage conference called A Weekend to Remember with my husband. No kids + 2.5 days = Nice.

I first learned about the conference over two years ago, when the church we were attending suggested we go.  I was hesitant to attend assuming things such as these were meant for people who had "issues".

It turns out a marriage conference wasn't for couples with issues but rather, couples from all walks in life: those to prevent issues, those to rekindle their marriage and, yes, some with real issues. A conference was created for real couples.

This was the second year we attended and everytime I return from my conference  I'm inspired to return to the "root" of things. Considering that I'm a traditionist at heart, I embrace the role God has given us as a helper to our spouses. And though this kind of talking might seem archaic, my role as mother and wife  fill me with pride and joy, more so than any career can ever fulfill.

The above quote was an excerpt from Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. The quote is intended with the idea that together husband and wife are stronger as opposed to attempting to control and lead our families on our own.

Quote of the Day...

Sorry I haven't been around these days. I haven't done much to satisfy my design soul, but I've still been feeding my soul in other areas, mainly reading a ton of biographies. This recent one lingered around Michelle Rodriguez. The excerpt was from her blog available here.

Whether you like Michelle Rodriguez or not is not the matter at hand but rather a study of the tenacity and determination which embodies entrepreneurs, actors or whomever is living their dream life, or attempting to attain it.

A study of those living in fear and those fighting against it.

I forgot my camera, so I'm learning to screenprint

Two things:

01. After taking photos of my project this morning, my battery died.

02. When my battery was charged, I discovered I forgot my camera's USB cable.

What did I learn? Have some post ideas ready for emergency situations. But you know what? When you love your posts, it's not that easy to part with your original idea for the day.

I also learned, again, that organization (and planning) is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I cannot say that enough.

In any event, I've been dying to learn how to screenprint. I usually prefer to tackle something on my own accord first; I'm like the homemaker who cleans her home before the housekeeper comes.

I came across a couple of video tutorials, this being the first. And I snuck it in at the workplace so I didn't have the sound on and I'm crossing my fingers there was no headbanger/heavy cursing music in the background, just in case you're at the office with the speakers set on high.

This version seemed simplistic enough (some nasty comments on YouTube used the expression ghetto).   Obviously, I'd have chosen a different design, but it's still a nice little intro/cheap version video for silkscreening. This, of course, being said by an amateur.

The video:



Or read this No Media Kings tutorial here.

Adieu.

Some Lessons To Teach: Manners + Fun

 
 

Beginning top left and clockwise: book, Manners Can Be Fun; Fresh Cut Fishing Set; Budding Artist Sketch Set; Wooden Doctor Set via Anthropologie.

Just the other day I was thinking how the school system has changed vastly since I was a kid. The scope of what we now learn entails so much technical stuff that the school system tends to shy away from the simple yet constructive learning tools. And evidently, it's been missing for a while.

A simple yet constructive lesson we were taught was hygiene. Toothbrushing was part of the curriculum. Another lesson gone missing: manners. It's no wonder bullying is so prevalent in our system. If some parents weren't taught simple manners, how can they expect their children to exude manners?

Another aspect missing is sufficient room for fun, games and silly time. Evident in places such as threads and social networking sites which have become a place for criticism and condemnation rather than a place to just have fun and learn.

How do you deal with cyber-bullying? How do you help your children deal with bullying?                

For additional resources visit Disney Family, or visit Stop Bullying. Or for resources on non-violent education visit The Echo Center here.